Hello world, it’s me, Mary. 

Hello? *knockknock* Are you there Internet? It’s been a while. I’m sure most of you have all about forgotten this humble blog. The biggest news since January is that we got married!!

 Here is a photo from the ceremony. It was freakishly chilly for the end of May, but I guess that’s the lake effect. L1 would NOT let me put him down; he clung to me the whole time! He was cold and need momma that day. L2 was a champ, he didn’t care about the cold at all! He did have fun kicking sand everywhere, however. They were both crying at the end because it was so cold and they wanted to leave, but when we actually went to leave, they were upset because they didn’t want to leave the beach!   

Here are some photos (the second one is with my parents) from the reception in June. MUCH warmer! I actually got pretty badly sunburnt that day on my shoulders/back. The boys had to pick out their own outfits so they ended up being very solidly hued. You may also notice my hair is gone in the second set of photos! I was growing it out solely for the wedding, so two days after, I chopped it. It was much lighter for summer and slightly easier to handle, depending on how I style it.

    We also took a family vacation this year (since we didn’t last year) and went up to Michigan City/The dunes (where we got married) for four days. The boys were much happier being at the beach when it was warmer and they could swim! We loved it and had a great time.

 The boys also started kindergarten and preK this month! Just look at those class years…I feel so old! I also feel a lot of mom feels at my babies getting so big. I swear I didn’t tear up until after I dropped them off…

Biomom is still her typical self, and we’re still fighting her on many things, but we’re definitely doing a lot more on our end (still) to make up for the slack elsewhere, so they’re taken care of at least. The most frustrating thing about it is that so many people still don’t see any of the crap she does (or doesn’t) do; even some of T’s own family is still super buddy buddy with her. We can only hope that one day her true colors will show and that karma will take care of her.

Aside from that, life has been alright. I started a new job at the end of last September and am now the front office manager at the same place, so I’m making more than I was before but also working more, and there’s no head manager, so I’m kind of self-teaching and hoping I’m not screwing anything up. Working so much is starting to take its toll on the boys, however, especially L1. His brother still gets to spend a few hours each day with me even when I work nights, because preK is only half a day, but L1 goes early in the morning for a full day and has been really missing me and the separation is hitting him a lot harder. He’s used to T being gone in the mornings because he’s always worked the same days/hours. They still miss him a lot, but it’s a big shake up to them not seeing me as much as they did. I’m trying to put myself on a fairly regular schedule so I can see them more, but with the availability of the staff we have, it’s not always doable. Hopefully when the summer ends and things slow down it’ll work out better.

I hope you all have had an amazing summer and first eight months of this new year! I’ll try to get monthly updates out from here on out.



I believe I may have mentioned before that I have an Instagram account, but I am a lot more active on it now, and the majority of things I post have to do with the kids and our daily lives. If you want to get a more updated peek at the #stepmomlife, feel free to follow me as @stepmommary! (I have the account set to private right now, but if you DM me and let me know that you’re following from the blog, I’ll accept you!)


You Drink, You Drive, You Lose?

This is horrifying and sickening. It’s disgusts and terrifies me that not only are certain states “mom states” but that apparently the entire country is headed that way. I am so sick of hearing stories like these. JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A MOTHER DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE FIT TO CARE FOR YOUR CHILD. And obviously, there are so many women who aren’t. My heart aches for this poor girl, and her father and stepmother, who obviously love and care for her much more than her mother and her mothers relatives.

Hey world it's me Blog

This is for those who have dealt with the court systems and have been disappointed. This if for the fathers who fight the system and are facing brick walls because of their gender. This if for the thousands of children who have no one advocating for them.

The Facts

My step-daughter was in a near fatal accident on Monday, Aug. 4, 2014. The accident happened at 8 a.m., only two days after we dropped her off and the mother picked her up from six consecutive weeks of visitation for summer.

The articles about the accident.




If you read the Daily Record article, you will know the Washington State Patrol said that alcohol was a factor. Apparently there were open containers and beer was all over the car. Circumstantial evidence is what you might call that.

We were not informed of the accident until 7:30 p.m. Monday, Aug…

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Guess Who’s Back? (Back Again!)

And now that song is stuck in your head. YOU’RE WELCOME.

Hello everyone, and let me just say I am SO sorry for such a long hiatus! Things have been a little hectic at our house for the past 6 months. Here’s a quick run down of everything I didn’t blog about in 2014:

-Father’s day–awesome.
-The boys started daycare/preschool and are LOVING it, and it is really helping them out a lot developmentally.

-We FINALLY got the boys on T’s insurance in the summer, thankfully, since biomom never put them back on Medicaid (So that would make almost 3 1/2 years of being uninsured for L1 and almost 2 1/2 for L2) and that has really helped with things. They both got hand foot & mouth in October and L1 got an ear infection at the end of December, and they’ve both been to the doctor numerous times for a viral cough. (At this point we’ve just been told by the docs and the pharmacist that since it’s viral, all we can do is treat the symptoms and wait for it to go away.)

-Halloween, Thanksgiving. Christmas Eve/Day, and New Year’s Eve/Day all went how they were supposed to, with no scheduling conflicts. We even got to keep the boys on Thanksgiving even though it wasn’t our holiday, since her family wasn’t doing anything until the weekend.

-We did not end up getting married last year due to money issues, and pushed it back to this year. We’ve also changed what we’re doing quite a bit. The ceremony will be up at the Indiana Dunes and be very small and private, with just our parents, grandparents, and the boys, with a celebratory lunch afterwards, and then we will be having a separate reception a few weeks later for all of our friends and family. I’m very excited!!

-We ended up resigning our lease, so we are still in the same house.
-T totaled his car (he wasn’t hurt!) and we replaced it with a 2000 Mustang that he adores. We gotit for VERY cheap off a friend/coworker of my mom’s.

-Biomom is still doing the whole “I’m only putting the bare minimum into caring for my kids and totally putting my own wants above their needs” thing, but we’re navigating that as best we can and compensating pretty well on our end. The boys still adore and trust me and that’s all that matters.

I hope you all had wonderful holidays, and I hope to be updating more as the year proceeds!


Not Everyone Is Beautiful

Powerful and interesting read.

Mindless Productivity

Every two or three days, I see an article or blog post or forwarded inspirational quote about beauty. It’s usually something affirming like

“You are beautiful, whether you know it or not.”

“We are all beautiful.”

“Everyone is beautiful to somebody.”

It’s cheerful stuff. It builds the self-esteem, makes people feel valued, and spreads joy and happiness across the internet.

It’s also bullshit.

angry face enraged

And you know it’s bullshit, because you really wanted to laugh at that picture.

Everyone is not beautiful. Some people have tumors the size of a second head growing out of their ears. Some people have skin like the Michelin man. Some people lose fingers, legs, or eyes in horrific assembly-line machine accidents. People have warts and blemishes and hair loss and dead teeth and lazy eyes and cleft palates and third nipples and unibrows.

There are plenty of people that are not physically appealing to look at, the…

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